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I do see. I do hear. I do feel. (and yes, I'm still crying)

...music videos...

// I really don't know how I missed this video before. Love the remix of this song by Monolith, but this video for the original is just awesome:




Re-mix I just love of it here:

....ah!!!! can't decide...

// I thought tonight would help but it just made things worse *cry*

For sure I picked Bellywood and Go Go (of all things...) but I don't know what else I want!!! Other choices are:

* Improver Bellydance
* Either Advanced or Regular Bollywood
* Tango
* Flamenco

I really don't think I want to do Improver Bellydance anymore after Lise Anne nixed the veil. I am doing a Bollywood piece so that either leaves likely Tango or Improver Bellydance.

I'm not too picky on costumes but love the Bellywood costume and having Go Go boots *squee*

I love the Advanced Bollywood costume but really need to try the dance. I like the Improver Bollywood costume and really like the dance. I'm kind of meh on both the Improver Bellydance costume and the dance but it is challenging. She did make it harder this year. I really didn't like the veil piece to start with last year but ended up loving it.

Then there is Tango. I'm really tempted to try it and really want to dance it. Why can't I do 5 dances, then this would be easy :(

...dance videos...

Need to really get off You Tube tonight (but I don't want to!) Costume changes + Dissing the boys + Boobs = these: lol

This is am little cheesy, but love the song/women dancing in the video:



Really like the aggressiveness in this dance:



Just colorful + costume changes galore ;)



I knew there was a reason I liked her so much ;)
// After the epic Sarah & Tanya posts, am I really just posting about shoes... the answer is yes. After the crap-tastic month it has been (I seriously want to semi-murder my boss most days) I needed a pick-me-up.

They may be sort of fugly, but they're Vogs and going to be gorgeous:



That and ordering Lit sparkly make-up for show. Ah the show... I'm going to be a stress-ball in exactly a month. I'm glad I took time off work this year from Thursday-Monday.

Better get to bed as it's work + OT, then Vampire Diaries (squee, yes it is my junk food TV show and it is so awful it's good) and then Jazz. But seriously... how can you not love this man *drool.....*


Aka master of the sideways smirk *melt*


...inspiration...

Inspiration for the tattoo I want:





Only add in a quill pen at the end, and the tail of the feather on my shoulder with the quill on the inside. Really, really want...

Can add in all types of neat things (black & white, water color, etc.) I really just want some larger tattoos on my shoulders to cover acne scarring. I've had it pretty bad ever since my teens and it's only been worse since I quit swimming after high school. This would definitely help.

We were also joking tonight at dance class I should add on a whole peacock... then I made a comment I originally wanted a tiger as well. Lol.

Something like in this style might be okay though...



...Worry Notebooks and a Laugh...

// Worry Notebook because we all need one ;)




http://www.etsy.com/listing/65318270/sale-worry-woolie-notebook-red



Also NES Controller soap... yes it is soap!




http://www.etsy.com/listing/101521095/nes-controller-soap-special-edition-mtn


And I leave you with this...


// Sitting here at home in Saskatchewan and found out some interesting information about an ex of mine that he's finally tying the knot in four months. A shocker to me after always being one of those, "I'm never going to get married," type of guys.

This was a man I went out with back in 2003/2004 who completely shattered my heart to bits. One of those "breakup over the phone" type of situations when I was back home in SK during the summer of 2004 for the university break. I was absolutely devastated at the time because I loved his family and friends and was just as sad I would be losing contact with them as with him.

Fast-forward to the fall of 2004 when I was back to University. This was the school year of meeting all of my new and awesome LJ friends who I still have to this day ;) (love you all and I don't say this enough) but this was a tough time of transitions. I had just lost the majority of my high school friends in university due to my bitch of a roommate who made my life a living hell and used her aunt (head honcho in university housing) to pretty much force me to move to a different suite with a month left to go in the spring semester of the previous school year.

This man was still around and invited me over the moment I got back in the fall. He proceeded to toy with me, rip my heart into a million pieces many times, stated he was dating other girls just to make me jealous and to get over me and proceeded once to pretty much rape me one night. It's a hard sentence to write, but I've pretty much come to terms with the fact that it is the truth after so many years. I also know he has cheated on every girlfriend he's had since. One of those whole, "I shouldn't love you and I should hate your guts instead," but at one point in time they're always the nicest guy in the world.

Other odd weird story is he introduced me to Quinton for the first time. Q has always joked in the past that he blames some of our troubles we've had for a long while on being introduced by the ex - in some ways I think he is right. Which is why I decided to do what I did next.

After watching Bridesmaids last night (funny movie to have an epiphany with) and relating a certain male character to the feeling of being used and abused and then a shining white knight cop coming into the picture, I've finally severed all online ties with him. I still have his family as friends on the good old Facebook, but I've finally found some shreds of courage to say remaining his "friend" is just a big old waste of my time.

It hurts losing the good memories of someone and trying to forget, but I think that is the only way to forget the bad memories as well and to move forward. Need a bit of moving onwards and hopefully upwards at this point as I feel I'm stalled and I need to let go of the past memories to change for the better.

...DST...

// Daylight savings time is worse enough for everyone in Canada; it's just torture for us Saskatchewanians who are not used to it.

I'm going to go have a meal of steak (hopefully I won't fall asleep in my food) and then I'm going to collapse for the night.

Endnote: I REALLY love spring but hate moving my clock forward!!!

...my new friend...

*Drool* My new friend... Jade! She is an early Christmas present :)




Now... anyone want to teach me how to play? (Andy, I'm looking at you...)